6 Reasons Why Marrying The Wrong Guy Could Be The Best Decision Of Your Life

Relationship author  Lynne Meredith Golodner, explains how her ex-husband made her the best person she could ever be and says she would be eternally grateful to him.

Golodner says 8 years of being with Mr. Wrong was the best decision she ever made and thought her six great life lessons.

Here are the lessons she said her ex-husband taught her:

1. He's the reason I have the best three children in the world: I know every mother says that, but truly I feel lucky to be their mother. It is said that the child chooses the parents and if that’s true, I am really glad my three chose me. They are smart, sweet, outspoken, unique and full of love. I don’t know what my life would be like without them. Being their mother makes me more patient, more kind, more caring, and it gives my life focus and meaning beyond work. I often ask myself what the purpose of our lives is, and when I look at my three children, I begin to understand. We are here on this planet to leave a legacy, to make the world a better place, to contribute to community. We are not here for ourselves. And being a mother has broadened my sense of purpose and motivation as well as expanded my ability to love.
2. He helped me stand on my two feet: Before I married my ex, I was needy and insecure, seeking love and acceptance anywhere I could find it. This led me to date a lot of guys in high school and college, miss opportunities to broaden my own horizons, travel and try new things while I focused agonizingly on relationships and clung to people I thought might complete me. It wasn’t a pretty picture. He made me realize that being with another person can’t erase the loneliness inside. Only I could do that. I had to bravely look at myself in the mirror and face the fact that even legally bound to another person, I was inherently alone — and then slowly eliminate my fear of that. I like myself now, and I like my time alone. I am not afraid of it. Secondly, being married to my ex and having three kids in four years forced me to stand up and take charge. He wasn’t around a lot, so I had to run the show. I couldn’t cling; he wasn’t there to let me. I had to shake off the malaise of the person I used to be and evolve into the person I always wanted to be.
3. He allowed me to confront what I truly wanted out of life: When I decided to divorce, the economy was tanking and my kids were not quite 2, 4 and 6. Since my ex is a musician, I needed a secure income stream to support my kiddos. So I created a business, which has grown and thrived more than I ever could have hoped. If I hadn’t spread my wings and asked myself what I truly wanted out of life, I wouldn’t own a successful public relations company, be the author of eight books and speak nationally about the power of story and relationships. You change one thing in your life (like leaving a marriage) and you realize anything is possible if you just take the first step. So you change a lot more and blossom.
4. He taught me that some relationships are just not meant to be. Period: Marrying the wrong guy taught me that no matter how hard you try (and we did, trust me), some relationships are just not meant to be. I gained clarity and wisdom through that marriage, so that when I met my current husband, I had open eyes. I looked for his flaws and oddities, and asked myself if I could live with them. I knew before I married him that I didn’t like the way he fought and so we knew we had to work together to communicate. I know that I don’t like that about him, but I like enough — and I knew all this before I walked into a commitment so there are no surprises. That makes this relationship easier. And on that note ...
5. He taught me that what looks like failure can actually be success: There is a belief that relationships exist for “a reason, a season or a lifetime” — as long as they are needed. My ex and I, we had a season. And that’s OK.
6. He forced me to face myself: No marriage ends because of one person — and in our situation it definitely took two to tango. My ex and I were equally responsible for the good moments in our marriage — and the bad. Even today, when we get into each other’s faces over something to do with co-parenting, it’s not just him. I know that. By marrying the wrong guy, I had to face up to my own flaws and unattractive tendencies. They exist, and when my ex pointed them out, as much as I didn’t want to hear it, I knew he was right. When a relationship goes wrong, you have to ask yourself what the common denominator is in every relationship you’ve had that hasn’t worked out. By the way: it’s you.