6 Ways to Avoid Toxic Relationships

Dating is hard. Given the casual, predominantly Internet and app-based approach available to singles today, there is no denying it can be difficult to know what the other person expects, or even what one’s own expectations should be.

Yet, for most people, dating is a necessary part of trying to find the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

But between the weirdness that often surrounds dating in the Church and the unrealistic expectations portrayed in Hollywood’s romantic films, it can be difficult to find good examples of healthy dating relationship.

There is no exact formula for relationship success, as every relationship is different. But In trying to lay some sort of general framework, it’s important to recognize some of the patterns that lead to the toxic relationships that are doomed to fail:

Recognize the Rebound.

There is no exact formula for relationship success, as every relationship is different. But it’s important to recognize some of the patterns that lead to toxic relationships.

The worst time to make important decisions is when you’re going through extreme high or low points in life. During these times, your guard lowers, increasing the likelihood of latching onto the nearest available person. After enduring loss or a crushing breakup, you are vulnerable to make decisions or compromises you wouldn’t ordinarily make.

The desire to have others reciprocate kindness, love, companionship and understanding is normal, but it is always best to take time—or give the person you’re interested in time—to evaluate mistakes made in previous relationships in order to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Avoid Controlling and Possessive People.

Those closest to you should encourage you to pursue your goals and dreams. God created marriage to ultimately glorify Him—husbands and wives should lift each other up and point each other to Christ. A relationship that tears you down goes against the nature of God’s intent.

Healthy connections should always be centered on giving others freedom instead of confinement. If you see someone manipulating others to get their way, it should be a big red flag.

Don’t Tolerate a Flake.

Anyone who has been married for any length of time can attest to the reality that feelings are as unreliable as the weather forecast. People can bring us euphoria one moment and despair the next.

Feelings are not only fleeting but they can also prompt unrealistic expectations. Obviously, a relationship built on false expectations can easily fall apart because those in the relationship can’t live up to those expectations.

Biblical relationships are saturated in devotion, allegiance and loyalty to the person—not to flaky feelings. They endure even when things are hard.

Abolish the Myth That Physical Chemistry is Everything.

Contrary to popular belief, satisfaction and completion are not based on sexual fulfillment. Relationships built on this myth are destined to crumble as couples grow older and physical beauty fades. Attraction is necessary in a relationship, but true attraction can be found beyond physical beauty. While cliché, there is truth to the statement, “Beauty is only skin deep.”

It is important to remember that genuine love is based not on what you can gain from someone but what you can give. Lasting relationships are built on giving without the expectation of receiving in return.

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/6-ways-avoid-toxic-relationships#QwvdubmlpcVgl5rI.99